I hung some Christmas lights in my room today. My mood seems to brighten upon their illumination. I let my eyes tire, lose focus, and the colors begin to blur. The bulbs slowly grow, I now hardly know how much time has gone by. But I don’t mind. I’m happy tonight, so I’ll bask in their light. The clock keeps ticking, but the colors drowned all thinking. Can I stay in this moment? Between two worlds, no time poorly spent. I refocus, but stay fixated on their glow, I am not ready to let this go. The light from my phone fights for my attention. I look, it knows I can’t wait in suspension. I meet reality, in the form of a small lit screen. Refocus to losing focus, things are so much better here. They haven’t dimmed, haven’t moved, colors changing only with my mood. Yes, they were the right decision, but how long can I keep avoiding the living? I’m happy tonight, but what will tomorrow bring? Tired eyes, a tired mind, somebody different than who I had in mind? Can I leave that me behind? Can I choose these tonight and still live life like I like? Which one is more true, I thought I was just picking yellow, green, red, and blue. No, there’s something deeper here. I see it now, these blinding lights have made it clear. While they were what I wanted, what did I need? Unfortunately now, I can only dream of sleep. I hung some Christmas lights in my room today. Maybe if I let them stay, their colors will slowly fade away.